SENTIMENTS OF PAST

weiliang just told me that you are missing me
and you are always treating that promise seriously

well, i'd to say
i am really suprised

Boy, i do not know if you are gonna to see this.
but what i wanna say is
i am sorry, i cant give you the happy ending that you want
actually, i am very selfish
i know this hurts but we are still young right?
i mean, i am still young

i cant really be sure of what i want.
sometimes i feel like i like you so much that i can sacrifice my studies, the expectations sometimes i feel like my goals are more important than you

yes, i don't behave like a teenager
when others are in search of love and BGRs
often i am quite calm when it comes to relationships
i do love you.
but i think i love myself more

remembering that i gave you up for her
and you were so mad that you did not talk to me for half a year
i had no choice.

it's been 3 years going to be 4
after all the quarrels and tears
you've changed lots and tolerated
my freaking tempers, my freaking mood swings, my pre-menstrual sytoms and manymore
you are always the one surrendering and compromising
i thank you
deeply from my heart

i'll always rmb what you've done for me
you came to my accompany
when i am feeling lonely and mama's away instead of socialising with friends
you protected me when your friends teased me
you paid everything for me when my wallet and atm card got stolen
your promise of turning down all the girls that like you
and all the warmth,jiayous and courage you gave me
once again.
i thank you very much

perhaps, i should give you my heart at this point of time
but relationship is not about repaying right?
till then i have no rights to say this
but i am really sorry

sorry for my self-centredness
sorry for my pride
sorry for my selfishness
sorry for my childishness
sorry for all the shits that i pushed to you
sorry for always troubling you to solve my problem over the years
sorry for not being able to give up for you as much as you did for me
i am so sorry

i hope this is gonna to be a new start of your life
without the trouble-maker like me
with all my heart, i wish you all the best and a happy & free life ahead
go get youself a kind, gentle, good or whatsoever girl
anyone so long she is not someone like me
i'll be praying for you all

give me up
be dead, and rise from the dead

loved,

yajun

09/08/09